How Do You See Your Marriage?

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As Christians, we all know that without a vision the people perish, but we tend to think this only along the lines of a church ministry. Whereas vision is a vital element to sustaining life within our marriage too. In other words, how you see your spouse and your future with one another will have everything to do with your endurance. I tell people, "if the enemy can kill your vision for your marriage, he's got it." If you cannot see yourself as victorious in marriage - that your marriage has a great purpose and is shaping you for God's plan in your life, then you are on your way to defeat.

Marriage is one of the greatest molding tools for shaping Christians into Christ-likeness. There is no other relationship more effective at cultivating selflessness, forbearance, humility and submission to God's Word. To keep the vision clear, or even alive, we must believe that God is working in us through difficult times.
Marriage deepens our understanding of mercy and grace. Through the years, I have met many people who stood in the gap for ungodly, undeserving spouses and I have seen those spouses changed. I've also seen countless women enter prayer closets to ensure change in an ungodly husband and interestingly enough, I've seen the real change emerge in the wives!

What a brilliant God! His design for marriage is absolutely, positively brilliant. He assures us that if a marriage has been given to Him, He can and will receive the glory from it. He will take what seems to be a weapon against you and use it as an effective tool building you into His likeness. There is a purpose in your marriage. There is an end result - a Godly end. There is hope.

How do you know o wife whether you will save your husband? How do you know o husband whether you will save your wife? 1 Corinthians 7:16

How do you know, o believers? Maybe your marriage is saving you!

5 Vision Killers in Marriage:
1. Lust - totally removes your spouse from your vision and replaces them with a fantasy. I ask people, "how can your spouse compete with someone you've made up?" Marriage is real.

2. Pride - damages vision because we see ourselves better than our spouse. We think that we act better, look better, deserve better and maybe are better Christians than our spouse. We see ourselves as the head and them the tail. Pride tricks us into thinking that we are special and our spouse is not. Pride deceives believers into thinking that God has a special plan for them but not their spouse.

3. Selfishness - kills vision in marriage because we no longer see our spouse's needs. It shifts our focus on to us. We see only our hopes, dreams, pleasures and desires. We cannot meet our spouse's needs when we are blinded to the fact that they even exist.

4. Arrogance - keeps us from seeing our spouse's significance. We see ourselves as the "enlightened one" and have no room in our ego for our spouse's opinion. Marriage is a partnership and having two opinions offers great accountability to us all. We have to be able to "see" that our spouse has much to offer.

5. Dominance - damages our romantic relationship. Wives who dominate husbands in the daytime will have a difficult time adjusting their perception in the night time. In other words, if you see your husband as incapable, childish and in need of your direction during the day, when you get into his bed at night, you will have trouble seeing him as a man. Healthy, fulfilling sex is always a Godly connection between masculinity and femininity. Husbands who allow themselves to be dominated by their wives will no longer see the feminine, gentle woman that God gave them, but will see an accuser, ridiculer and a mother hen. Also, husbands who dominate their wives will eventually kill their self esteem. Wives who are dominated may be able to function romanticaly for a little while but their vision will definitely be affected by being treated like a child.